


Sirius Black's Happiest Birthdays

by mylifeissocoollike



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Harry, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, M/M, Marauders era, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:42:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeissocoollike/pseuds/mylifeissocoollike
Summary: A collection of Sirius' best and most memorable birthdays.





	

**Sixth**

His brother was finally old enough to know what birthdays meant. For a week Regulus kept reminding Sirius that he was getting him a present for his birthday. Sirius would simply smile, knowing that Reg’s gift would probably be something their mother picked out. Not that he cared. Reg wasn’t old enough to go to the store and buy Sirius a present after all. Sirius wasn’t even old enough. Although, maybe now that he was going to be _six_ he would be.

Regulus woke Sirius up that morning by jumping on his bed and pushing a drawing into his face. After he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, Sirius realized it was of the two of them riding brooms.

“You like it? I drew it for you! Papa charmed it so they can fly!” Regulus exclaimed proudly.

Sirius smiled as he looked at the crude drawing of him and his little brother, flying happily around the page. A warm feeling filled him as he realized his expectation had been wrong. Regulus had taken the time to make Sirius a present he would truly like. This was better than anything their mother would have picked out at a store.

“I love it,” Sirius said, clutching it to his chest. It truly was the best present he had ever gotten.

**Twelfth**

All through October, Sirius had bragged to his new friends about the amazing gifts his parents gave him on his birthday. He listed off things like tickets to Quidditch games and trips to France and watched as they would raise their eyebrows. They were impressed, he was sure of it.

Finally, November came. The morning of his birthday, he got dressed and went to the Great Hall with James, Remus and Peter.  He tried not to look too eager when he spotted the Black family owl swooping toward the Gryffindor table. He hadn’t seen the owl at school recently.

 _They must not be sending me letters in order to not let a surprise slip_ , he thought. The owl dropped an envelope on the table in front of him. Well, it certainly wasn’t a large gift. But sometimes the best things came in small forms- like tickets to a concert! He snatched the envelope, excited to know if his parents really were going to let him go to a concert.

He opened the envelope, acutely aware of his friends’ stares. In it he found five galleons and a folded piece of parchment. Curious, he opened it and read:

_Sirius,_

_Happy birthday. Buy yourself something nice._

_-Mum, Dad, Reg_

“Well let’s see what you got then,” James said and snatched the note out of Sirius’ hands. He read the short line to himself and then stared at Sirius, his eyebrows furrowed.

Sirius felt heat creep across his neck. He busied himself with piling food onto his plate while James passed the note across the table for Peter and Remus to read. He could feel them staring silently at him and he hated it.

“Sirius,” Remus finally said. He looked up at his friend and was almost startled by how intently Remus was staring at him. For the first time since they met, Sirius really took Remus in. The other boy had a scar on his chin, but the rest of his face was flawlessly smooth. A few freckles, probably the result of playing in the summer sunshine, were scattered across his cheekbones and nose. And his sandy brown curls were starting to fall into his eyes. Sirius was jealous of those eyes- how they were green but not in the deep, vibrant way Evans’ were. They were light and soft, like standing under a tree on a sunny day and looking up through the leaves.

Remus Lupin had sunshine in his eyes, Sirius realized with a jolt.

“Yes?” he asked after he felt that their staring had gone on too long.

“Your parents are cunts,” the eleven year old said.

James choked on his pumpkin juice and Peter’s mouth hung open in shock, half chewed food on full display. Sirius felt the corners of his mouth twitch and he and Remus smiled at him. Suddenly, he found that he didn’t care about what his parents gave him for his birthday. Spending it with these three was thing in the world.

That night, after dinner, the boys all gave him gifts.

James gave him his chocolate frog card of Godric Gryffindor. “Because you don’t have him yet.”

Peter gave him a book on Quidditch maneuvers. “Because you want to make the team next year.”

Remus gave him a bag of only strawberry flavoured Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. “Because they’re your favorite flavour.”

Yes, having them for friends was better than anything his parents could have given him.

**Sixteenth**

“Tonight is the night boys I can feel it,” Sirius said as they ate dinner. The other Marauders had already given him his birthday presents to make time for their elaborate after dinner mission.

“You said that last week,” Peter said. Sirius kicked him under the table.

He knew he would perfect the animagus transformation this time. He just knew it. There was a strange feeling brewing in his very core and it had to mean something. Besides, attributing it to the impending transformation was easier than thinking about it being caused by the boy sitting at his side.

Remus’ knee was touching his and Sirius gripped his fork unnecessarily hard to try to ignore the tingling sensation running up his leg. It was just a knee. Just Remus’ knee. They had touched each other plenty of times over the years and Sirius would not let himself be undone by something so simple.

He shifted an inch away and caught the look Remus gave him out of the corner of his eye. Was Remus… was he disappointed that Sirius had moved away?

 _Nonsense_ , Sirius thought, _Remus is wonderful there’s no way he’d be disappointed that you moved away because he wouldn’t be interested in the first place…_

He shook his head and tried to think of the transformation instead. He thought of all the books they had learned, the steps they had completed and the advice James had given him after he managed to make the transformation last week. He’d be fine tonight.

But for whatever reason, Remus or the animagus, Sirius found he was too nervous to eat.

Later they had successfully snuck into the Forbidden Forest. Being November, they found that they didn’t even have to use the Invisibility Cloak because it was dark outside so early at night.

James reminded them of how he had finally gotten it to work and then did the spell. Sirius watched as he turned into a stag before their eyes. He felt quite annoyed at the feeling of awe that washed over him as he watched his best friend strut around the forest, a full-fledged animagus.

“Right. Ready Peter?” he asked. The shorter boy nodded and they readied their wands. Peter counted to three and together they cast the spell.

Nothing happened.

Could stags smirk? Because Sirius swore to Merlin that James was smirking and it lit a fire in his chest. Before he could become frustrated, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and there was his Remus.

 _My Remus?_ He wanted to punch himself for thinking it.

The other boy’s face had become more scarred since Sirius’ twelfth birthday, but somehow, it was even more perfect than before. And that brilliant light still shone there.

“Don’t forget about that gut feeling, yeah?” Remus said reassuringly. Sirius nodded at him and he stepped back, but not before giving Sirius’ shoulder a reassuring squeeze and whispering “I believe in you.”

A wave of warmth flooded Sirius’ body. It was washed away the fiery irritation that James had caused and left calmly smoldering embers. Warm. Comfortable. Happy. That’s how Remus made him feel.

Concentrating on that feeling, Sirius squared his shoulders, readied his wand and tried again.

The sensation that rushed over him was strange. There was pain for a moment until something suddenly clicked into place. Sirius knew it had worked. He felt different, saw different, heard different.

He tried to get a good look at himself and realized he was lower to the ground. He saw shaggy dark fur and big paws and felt himself grin a big toothy grin. Some sort of dog then. This would work perfectly.

He let out a whoop that sounded more like a howl and began to run laps around the trees. James, still a stag, joined him and together they ran as fast as they could. It felt liberating. Sirius knew that it was truly the perfect form for him. The animal side to his coin. His true nature.

He and James reentered the clearing. Peter and Remus were waiting for them and when they both changed back, the four boys started cheering and clapping Sirius on the back.

“Nice going Sirius!” Peter exclaimed.

“Yeah good job, mate!” James said. Then his friend started to snicker and added, “Or should I say, _Padfoot_.”

“You’re one to talk, _Prongs_ ,” Remus said.

“Stuff it, _Moony_ ,” James said. But the boys all laughed at the nicknames, knowing that soon Peter would change and they’d have something to call him too.

They walked back to the castle. Sirius was smiling so hard his face hurt. He was thrilled that after months of hard work they were finally reaping the rewards. He stayed up late that night, sitting in the Common Room and thinking about everything that had happened.

“I’m going to bed,” Remus said sometime around midnight. They were the only two left down there and Sirius had been enjoying his quiet company.

“I think I’ll stay here a bit longer,” he said as he watched the fire crackle.

“Suit yourself.” Remus picked up the book he had been reading but when he got to the foot of the stairs to the dormitory, he suddenly turned around. Sirius stared at him, unsure of what was going on. Before he could ask if something was wrong, Remus crossed the room again in four quick strides, leaned down and brushed his lips against his.

“Happy birthday,” he said, before quickly retreating up the stairs, leaving Sirius completely stunned.

**Seventeenth**

“Your first birthday as a Potter!” James cheered as they made their way down to breakfast that morning.

“James, I’m not-“

“Oi, Mum and Dad have practically adopted you so you better not say what you’re about to say.”

“Yes sir.”

Sirius wasn’t expecting much, but he had to admit he was curious. Would they send him something? Would it be on the same extravagant scale as the presents James often received? He wasn’t sure what to do really. He didn’t want them to go out of their way for him, they had done so much already. But he also wanted some sort of confirmation that they loved and accepted him as their own as much as James claimed.

Finally, as Sirius was chewing his eggs and toast, an owl carefully set a small box in front of him. He suddenly wished Remus were next to him, not across from him. Things hadn’t gone the way he had hoped they would after his birthday last year. In fact, it seemed that Remus regretted the kiss because he had not mentioned or done it again. He sat next to him in class less often, absent mindedly brushed his fingers through his hair less often, leaned his head against his shoulder while they read together on the cough less often. It sent a pang through Sirius’ chest whenever he thought of it.

Remus’ distance didn’t mean Sirius had stopped yearning to be close to him. If anything, it had gotten worse and Sirius hated himself for still pining over someone who was clearly not interested.

“What’re you waiting for.” James nudged the box toward him, pulling Sirius back to reality.

Carefully, he pulled the string. A card came off and he looked at it.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Happiest of birthdays to you. We miss you terribly and can’t wait to see you in December._

_Love,_

_Mum and Dad_

He had to blink back tears as he set the note aside and opened the box. Inside, nestled in red silk, was a gold pocket watch. He picked it up gently, noticing Canis Major engraved on the front.

“Turn it over,” James whispered. Sirius did, and on the back was the constellation Leo. Sirius knew immediately why they had done it. James must have told them that despite leaving home, Sirius still longed for the little brother he had lost. Because James was his best friend and brother, and he knew that despite how unaffected Sirius acted, it still deeply hurt him that he and Regulus had to be torn apart too.

“It’s perfect,” Sirius said.

“And Gryffindor colors too!” Peter pointed out the red silk and gold watch. Sirius smiled, the Potters had thought of everything.

“Sirius,” Remus said. He looked across the table, memories of his first birthday at Hogwarts flooding his mind. Remus had looked so young then. Only one scar on his face which, apparently, was from falling off his bike when he was ten, not his furry little problem. Remus’ face was harder than it used to be. With the slowly growing tension in the wizarding world, Sirius was sure all of theirs were.

“Yes?” Sirius asked, unashamed of how long he gazed across the table. Remus was beautiful and he was going to drink him in as long as he could.

“Your parents are the best,” he said, a smile lighting up his face.

“They’re my parents too, mate!” James added.

Sirius elbowed him and Remus and Peter laughed. They continued eating breakfast, talking about assignments and the coming trip to Hogsmeade. As he ate, Sirius was sure that he had never felt happier He was officially a Potter now. That and Remus’ ankle was hooked around his own.

**Twentieth**

Sirius didn’t expect much for his birthday. In fact, he expected that most people would forget it entirely. They were in the middle of a war, they didn’t have time to celebrate birthdays.

It had been a long day at Order Headquarters and he was honestly ready to go to his flat and drink some firewhiskey to forget about all the shite that was happening around them. But Mad-Eye had sent him on a last minute errand to Diagon Alley to pick up some parchment. Sirius trudged back through the cold, cursing the Auror for sending him to do such menial jobs.

When he walked through the door to Headquarters, he nearly had a heart attack.

“Surprise!” about two dozen voices shouted at once. He looked around in shock. A hand-made banner reading “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” was hanging on the wall and every one was wearing some form of party hat. Sirius spotted James, Lily and Peter at the front of the group, grinning wickedly at him.

“You’ve been moping around all day!” James exclaimed.

“Did you actually think we’d forget your birthday?” Lily asked.

“Maybe if you lot weren’t sneaky bastards, I wouldn’t have,” Sirius grumbled. Everyone laughed and the crowd dispersed. Sirius heard someone put on music and smelled food coming from the kitchen.

Against his will he found himself craning his neck, searching for Remus. Why hadn’t he been standing at the front with the others?

“Looking for someone?” James asked, smirking as Sirius shot him a glare. The stupidest thing he had ever done was get drunk and tell Lily he fancied Remus. She could never keep a secret from James.

“Shut your bloody mouth,” he muttered.

“Relax, he’s just getting your present,” Lily whispered. Sirius smiled gratefully at her and began chatting to the three of them. Peter had just been on a scouting mission and they listened attentively to the details he had learned.

“There’s the birthday boy!” Sirius felt an arm wrap around his middle as Remus appeared next to him. He felt his stomach do a flip and was glad he hadn’t had any of that firewhiskey yet for that surely would’ve made it worse.

“Nice of you to show. I was beginning to miss your nasty mug,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know you really think this ‘nasty mug’ is gorgeous, come on I need to give you your present.”

Remus dragged him away and Sirius looked back to see his other friends grin and give him a thumbs up. He flipped them off and they laughed.

Sirius honestly didn’t know what to think of Remus any more. They had kissed once, four years ago, and then never talked about it again. Sirius had always thought Remus regretted it, but in the past year, his friend had been acting differently. Flirting more. More than usual even.

He wasn’t sure what to think. In a way, he hated it. What if Remus didn’t even realize what he was doing? How he was getting Sirius’ hopes up _again_? Sirius really didn’t think he could take it. He wished he had had the strength to just let him go four years ago when Remus made it clear that he wasn’t interested.

But how can you let the person you love go so easily?

Remus dragged him upstairs, away from the party. The entire time Sirius thought about how nice it felt to hold his hand.

 _You’re useless_ , he chided himself. _Move on!_

Finally, Remus pulled him into a room at the end of the hall. It was a small room, really only used for storage. Occasionally they stuck a cot in here when so many Order members were staying the night that the bedrooms were full.

“What’re we doing in here?” Sirius asked. Remus let go of his hand and faced him. When he was this close to him, Sirius always realized how much taller Remus actually was.

“I wanted you to myself for a bit,” Remus said. Sirius tried to read his friend’s face but there was just so much there he didn’t know what to make of it. Exhaustion. Happiness. Excitement. Nervousness. Desire?

“To do what?” Sirius asked, inching closer. Maybe if he reached out, he could brush his fingers against the man’s side- just to know he was real.

“Whatever you’ll let me.” Remus’ voice was husky and full of desire. Sirius couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe Remus _wanted_ him.

“Remus,” he whispered. He reached out and laid a hand against his chest. Remus inhaled sharply, as if that touch alone would undo him.

“I thought you didn’t feel this way,” Sirius continued. He saw Remus’ eyes narrow and he wondered if he’d said the wrong thing.

“I always have.” Was the unexpected answer that came out of his friend’s mouth.

“But you kissed me before! Why didn’t you…” Sirius trailed off, unsure of how to continue. Remus chuckled and laid a hand on Sirius’ cheek.

“I was scared that you didn’t feel the same, that I had jeopardized our friendship. So I didn’t mention it. It was only last year when James and Lily cornered me and told me to grow a pair and do something that I realized I’d been foolish.” As he talked, Remus caressed Sirius’ face. He ran his hand down his jaw, and Sirius shivered as his thumb brushed his lips.

He couldn’t wait anymore. He had wanted it for so long. And hearing Remus’ words was all he needed. They erased all the doubt that had held him back for so many years. As if a gate had opened, Sirius felt desire wash over him and he couldn’t hold back any longer. He stepped towards Remus and kissed him.

Kissing Remus was exactly how he’d dreamed it would be.

It was like warm hot chocolate on a cold day. Fireworks in the summer. Sleeping under the stars. Driving down an empty road with the wind in your hair.

He backed Remus against the wall and snogged him harder. He felt Remus’ tongue trace his lip and moaned. Remus had one hand in his hair and another gripping his hip and Sirius thought that he never wanted to be held any other way than this. He broke away from Remus and grinned at him before beginning to press kisses along his jaw. A groan escaped from Remus and he arched into Sirius. He delightfully noticed how hard he was becoming and continued kissing and sucking down Remus’ neck toward his collar bone.

“Best present ever,” he murmured against Remus’ skin. Remus laughed and drew his face back up for a kiss. It was slower than the others had been. Slow and loving and it made Sirius weak at the knees.

“Happy birthday,” Remus whispered against his lips, just as he had four years ago. But this time, Sirius responded by kissing him harder and slipping his hands up his shirt.

“The happiest birthday.”

**Twenty-first**

The next year, Sirius found himself sitting in James and Lily’s lounge, holding baby Harry. It wasn’t what he expected his twenty-first birthday to be. He didn’t think any of them expected a baby to be in their lives so soon, honestly. And during a war this bad no less.

But Harry was a light in the darkness and Sirius couldn’t be happier to be his godfather.

“Say Padfoot, Harry,” he cooed as he bounced the baby in his lap.

Remus rolled his eyes at his antics and said, “You know he’s going to say ‘mum’ first.”

“You bet your sweet ass he is,” Lily added as she entered the room. Sirius made a face at James, as if asking, _how did she even hear that_. James just laughed at the lot of them.

“Here, Sirius,” Lily took Harry and placed a gift in Sirius’ lap in his place.

“You guys didn’t have to,” he stammered.

“Oh hush,” she said, dismissing him.

“Besides, it’s from all of us,” Remus said.

“Even Pete- he told us to say he wishes he were here,” James added.

Sirius looked at them all and slowly unwrapped the gift. It took him a moment to realize what it was. When it dawned on him he let out such an excited cheer that Harry started to laugh and try to cheer along.

“You found the part I needed to fix the bike?” He looked up from the box, grinning excitedly at his friends.

“Happy birthday, mate,” James said.

“Sorry it isn’t much, but we knew how much you wanted it,” Remus said. Sirius got up and brushed a chaste kiss against Remus’ lips, thinking of how much he’d thank him later.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“You’re corny,” Remus said. But he slipped his hands around Sirius’ neck and pulled him in for another kiss.

“I love you too,” he said as they broke away. James didn’t even make gagging sounds this time, much to their surprise.

Sirius looked at them all. James and Lily with their wonderful baby boy and Remus who was his love and light. He wished Peter were there with them too but he knew he would have come if her weren’t away on Order business. Together, the five of them and Harry, they were a perfect family. He couldn’t have asked for better.

“It’s perfect, thank you,” he said as he hugged Lily and James. They grinned up at him. After losing so many friends and family, after being cooped up in this cottage for so long, Sirius knew that being able to celebrate something meant more to them than it ever had.

“It’s no problem, mate,” James said.

“And just you wait. Next year, when this is over, we’ll have a proper party,” Lily said.

**Thirty-fourth**

Sirius padded through the Forbidden Forest, grateful to feel the soft ground beneath his feet.

It was strange being back at Hogwarts. Everywhere he looked he was haunted by memories that threatened to drag him into the depths of despair. But he held on. One person kept him going.

He crept out of the forest and toward Hagrid’s hut, where he knew Harry often liked to visit. Just one glimpse of his godson, that’s all he hoped for.

Finally, after sitting for what must have been hours in the cold, Sirius saw Harry come out of the hut with his friends. He looked so much like James and Lily that his heart seized in pain.

But seeing Harry alive and laughing on his way back to the castle gave him hope.

He would make things right for him. For all of them.

**Thirty-sixth**

Sirius awoke to sunlight streaming in through his window. When he went downstairs for breakfast a letter was waiting for him.

_Padfoot,_

_Happy birthday! Forgive me for not sending you a gift. Umbridge is suspicious of the smallest thing and I didn’t want her to question whom I would be sending a present to at this time of year._

_But I was thinking that we could go on a vacation after school is over. What do you say to a tour of the French countryside? Lupin told me that your parents used to take you there and you loved it. I bet you could use the fresh air and the countryside would be beautiful in the summer. What do you think? I haven’t told anyone my idea, you know how tense they are. They would just say no without telling me why we can’t. I know you would at least give me an explanation._

_Think on it and let me know. You don’t even have to tell me right away but do try to respond and just tell me how you are._

_Best,_

_Harry_

It warmed his heart. The boy was so kind, so thoughtful. He must have gotten it from his parents. It was something they would have suggested too. Merlin, he missed them.

Sirius set about getting ready for the day. Mad-Eye and Remus were supposed to come over to brief him on the latest news. His heart fluttered in his chest at the idea of seeing Remus.

They had been growing back together and slowly repairing their broken bond. Things weren’t the same as they had been of course. And it would take time to heal the wounds. But Sirius was confident that it would happen. There were small signs every day that Remus still felt the same way as him.

Sometimes when they were in an Order meeting, Remus would reach out under the table and squeeze his knee or hold his hand. He would play with his hair like he used to when they were young. He would rest his head on his shoulder as Sirius read an interesting article from the Prophet to him. Sirius had even caught Remus staring and smiling at him multiple times. And the man didn’t even hide it when he was caught. If anything, it made him smile wider.

They talked about old times and bonded over their feelings. Anger that Peter betrayed them. Sadness that James and Lily were taken away from them. Happiness that after everything that had happened since then, they still had each other.

Later, after their meeting, Mad-Eye packed up his things to leave.

“You comin’?” he said gruffly. Remus shook his head, barely even taking his eyes off Sirius. Mad-Eye grumbled a goodbye and headed out into the cold night.

“Come on,” Remus said after a moment of them standing together in the narrow hallway, close but not close enough for Sirius’ liking. “I have a surprise for you.”

He felt his stomach drop. What kind of surprise? Sirius remembered the birthday party that felt like decades ago, when Remus had led him into a cupboard just to snog him. His neck grew hot thinking about what they did in that little closet. Did Remus have the same thing in mind?

But no. He was leading him to the kitchen. Of course he wouldn’t do that. That was too fast. There was still a careful balance between them that couldn’t be tipped just yet.

“I couldn’t make you a cake because it would be shite compared to Lily’s, but I did get you this,” Remus said.

That’s when he saw it. Sitting on the kitchen table was a giant bag full of strawberry flavoured Bertie Botts.

Remus wasn’t recreating the birthday present he had given him sixteen years ago in a cupboard. No, he was recreating the very first gift he’d ever given him. _Twenty-four years ago_. Sirius had to brace himself on the table. He felt dizzy. In a way, this one small present was the biggest gesture anyone had ever made for him.

Remus remembered his favorite Bertie Botts flavour. Remus remembered everything, he realized. And he wanted Sirius to know that. With this present, he was sending a message to Sirius that he was ready to try again. He remembered the way they once were and he wanted it again.

A hand rested on his shoulder. “If it’s too much I can-“

“It’s perfect,” Sirius interrupted before turning and pulling Remus in. Fuck the careful balance bullshit. He was going all in. “You’re perfect.”

“Good to see you haven’t forgotten that,” Remus said.

“Shut up,” Sirius said, tightening his grip on the man he loved. He was so warm, just like he had remembered. Just like he had dreamt about all those cold nights in Azkaban.

“Make me.”

“That’s such a cliché response, you know.”

Remus just rolled his eyes. And then he was kissing him. Sirius felt something burst inside of him. It was just as he remembered, if not better. Remus’ lips were soft but they kissed him with a fervor that made Sirius turn to jelly. Remus backed him against the table and he grinned into the kisses as he began untucking his shirt so he could feel that warm soft skin.

“Something funny?” Remus murmured as he began to trail kisses down Sirius’ neck. He stopped to flick his tongue against the spot under his ear and Sirius hissed. He really did remember everything Sirius loved.

“I’m just happy, love.”

For a moment, Remus seemed to freeze and Sirius instantly wanted to kick himself. But then Remus looked up at him and Sirius realized that it was a good kind of frozen. Instead of a shocked, _how could you call me that, you’re going too fast_ expression on his face, Remus looked completely and utterly delighted. He kissed Sirius slowly, relishing every part of him.

“I love you,” he whispered against his lips. It was what he had longed to hear for the past fourteen years.

As they kissed each other, held each other, and loved each other on that kitchen table, Sirius thought this had to be one of his best birthdays yet.


End file.
